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Dec. 31st, 2008

raw like sushi

(no subject)

fuck 2008.

Jun. 14th, 2007

oh buster

(no subject)

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RIP Jack Hammy 2005-2007, you had a good, treat-filled run.


and a time-warped picture of Maeby. I haven't posted since February, yeesh and even this picture was from two months ago. i need to get with the times.

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what a fucking horrible day. meh.

Dec. 14th, 2006

it's twue

i couldn't help myself

notice how decidedly *gay* mine turned out. i am awesome.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, whore_nun sent to me...
Twelve shoes drumming
Eleven hoodies piping
Ten fishnets a-leaping
Nine nerds dancing
Eight tattoos a-milking
Seven sideburns a-swimming
Six naps a-bowling
Five je-e-e-ennifer saunders
Four young ones
Three drag queens
Two john waters
...and a divine in a jennifer tilly.
Get your own Twelve Days:

Dec. 3rd, 2006

Caa--aaattt--pphtthh

Merry Christmas to Us (Finally)

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huzzah!

Mar. 8th, 2006

oh buster

"The "Hunt for Red October" was filmed in my pussy."

-today is whatever. i can't seem to stop being misinterpreted by everyone. i give up.

-saw transamerica over the weekend. felicity huffman was good, the movie was not. just because the main character is a transexual doesn't mean it isn't just a boring road movie.

-i hate it when tabloid reporters ask celebrities what they think about 'so and so's' death when they are on the red carpet. great. i really wanted to know how tim allen was affected by the death of dana reeve at the premiere of "The Shaggy Dog." how profound.

-i bought the wrong kind of tampons from the grocery store. seeing as how they're embarrassing enough to buy the first time, i just went back into the store with my receipt and swapped them out on my own. they were the same price and it saved me the mortification of having to explain to the already annoyed customer service reps that i picked the wrong box and i need a different one to accomodate my cavernous vagina.

-is it wrong that i would have rather stayed at work today than come home? i don't have anything in particular (other than the pets) that i want to come home to. meh. seasonal depression, i thought i'd seen the last of you for a while. guess not.

-my tattoo is peeling and i just want to pick up a corner and tear the whole thing away. i know this would be bad, so save your breath if you were going to tell me that. i'm not gonna do it. however, peeling off huge sheets of back skin after a hearty sunburn used to be one of my favorite childhood activities. of course i haven't seen the sun since 1993, so there's really no hope of a that in my future.

-i'm gonna go check on my animal crossing town. video game townspeople are the only thing i have to live for, apparently.

Feb. 8th, 2006

it's twue

(no subject)

-my mom and my sister arrived safely in jamaica. i know this only because my sister posted a myspace bulletin. lame. don't people use phones anymore?

-i've been watching project runway for the last three hours. santino sucks a giant dick. i hope he gets kicked off tonight.

-the grammys are on tonight. i hate them, but i want to watch to see madonna perform her weird 3-d disaster with gorillaz and possibly punch mariah carey in the box.

-i smell great. i hate going in bath and body works because it makes my head hurt and i want to barf, but i used their stuff earlier and now i want to make out with myself.

-i've been in lynchburg for three days. nobody knows i'm here. it's swell. i keep saying to myself i want to go back to richmond, but i have no idea why. i wish things were happening. i can't wait until we find a place to move.

-i got cramps. nothing new there, but you'd just think they'd get easier to deal with after having them for the last ten years. nope, they still suck.

Feb. 5th, 2006

it's twue

(no subject)

fuck football.

Jan. 31st, 2006

it's twue

don't let me be misunderstood

-my mom and my sister are going to jamaica next week. it's for churchy purposes. i was not asked to go for obvious reasons.

-i'm not a positive person. why are people just realizing this? maybe i'd be more positive if my so-called friends didn't blab all my business to mutual friends (ie. when i lost my job). i'm sick of people who only talk to me when things are on the skids with their significant others or are between girlfriends. meh.

-i wish i had the money to be sterilized. i'm serious. i think it would be a big plus in the 'to date or not to date nikki' debate. i'm kidding. i just really don't want to reproduce and considering what happened today, i hope i don't ever get pregnant because i may not have a choice in the matter pretty soon.

-saturday will be one month without smoking. i told my mom this thinking she would be pleased and forgot that i told her i would quit last year, completely negating the sheer awesomeness of this achievement.

-we're well on our way to a snow-free rest of the winter. *fingers crossed*

-i'll be 25 in two months. i know i'm getting old because i'm actually excited about my car insurance rates going down.

-i wish i could go visit demondogdondite. le sigh.

Dec. 15th, 2005

it's twue

the holidays

is it safe? wake me up when it's over.

Dec. 1st, 2005

it's twue

(no subject)

this is probably the most boring update ever, but it's exactly what's happening. things are just good. nothing particularly awesome, nothing terrible. just good. i'm content and after the last few months, that's enough for me.

eww, i wonder if that is what sheryl crow means in that stupid 'good is good' song of hers. i don't want to think about it or her and her weirdo twin boyfriend, lance. sleeping with somebody who looks exactly like you is creepy, American hero or not. sick.

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it's twue

December 2008

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